Monday Madness: What Statement Are You Making?

MONDAY MADNESS!

I scheduled an appointment with an eye doctor after performing a less than stellar job on reading the chart at the doctor's office (I swear there is a "7" on line 5).  Anyway, I realized that because I have been spoiled rotten over the years by not needing them, and I really haven't paid attention to the fashion of glasses.  I always loved my Mom's reading glasses that she is continually losing (though she will find them later on top of her head along with 2 other pairs).  She buys the fun ones with bold colors and fun patterns. My best friend always bought great pairs of eyeglasses as well that look amazing on her.  They reveal her fun-loving, and bold personality as they frame her blue eyes perfectly.

I feel like a pre-teen decorating my room.  I remember asking myself - what do I want my room to say about me?  How can I translate me into an enviroment and/or products?  It seems like it's a habit of living in a consumer driven culture.  We express ourselves through products, clothes, home decor, hair styles, purses, and cars.  It's shallow, and isn't my ideal situation, but it's true whether we like it or not.

I have never been much of a fashionista.  At all.  I don't really have that clothing thing down and on most days those people would probably describe me as a "hot mess".  "Hot" meaning "urgently horrible".  So now to pick out glasses essentially means that I am chosing one outfit to wear everyday.  It demands a commitment.  It is something people will immediately see when they meet you.  I don't want to accidently pick out the pair that says "My favorite pants are sweats", just as I don't want another to say, "I only have time for business."

So if you wear glasses, what made you choose the pair that you did besides price?  How did you make the decision or what did you want your glasses to say about you?

In the spirit of this, the following pictures of glasses are for your viewing pleasure.

Glasses say:  He's the mole.

Glasses say:  Senile, but conventional...if the moon were made out of cheese would you eat it?

Glasses say:  I will severely crush you.

Glasses say:  I am a Reverend.

Glasses say:  We still love MC Hammer and will go to great lengths to search for him.

Glasses SCREAM:  Elton John - The King of Glasses

 

   

Monday Madness...on a Tuesday

Hello!

It's obvious that I've been caught up in something to make me miss out on Monday Madness.  My best friend (Samm) and I have began the great quest of trying to get into shape.  We've battled weight issues throughout our lives and after 33 years, it's time to do something about it.  We started a blog - http://www.fatisntfunny.blogspot.com - and this link will forever be listed under my Links list here on this site for your convenience or curiosity.

After a tough year, it is obvious that I need something more intense than painting.  I wonder how artists throughout history stayed in shape and remained so prolific.  Perhaps they were all flab and no muscle, or sincerely starving artists.  With such a sedentary profession, I wonder how so many are so svelt.  I hear about office professionals who make it a priority to workout of course, but one does not hear too many stories about how Da Vinci dominated on the courts, or how Manet was quite the runner.

I would love to hear about how artists today and in history have managed their health.  If you have any info to share, I would love to hear it!  I'm extremely curious about this -

In the meantime, here's a sampling of what you'll expect to find on the fat isn't funny blog, and a happy Tuesday to you!...and Monday.

***Also, on the video there's a typo that I can't fix...fat isn't funny is not a ".com" yet.  Oops!  It's a "blogspot.com".

Monday Madness: Dancing the Goals Away

MONDAY MADNESS!

I wrote my goals for the day with a cup of coffee a few minutes ago...revise a painting, revise a drawing, finish another painting (or come close), plan out my next bubble portrait, dishes, laundry, Dance Central...

I started to think about the big goals, and how I have failed to attain them over and over again.  How do I approach these goals with a fresh start, or in other words, without the baggage of previous fails?  How do I mute that negative talk inside my head- that skepticism that I will ever achieve them?  I glanced down at my daily goals...Dance Central...

Last week a new friend, who I feel as though I have known for much longer than I have, came over to play Dance Central with me.  I tried out a new song - the routine for "Push It" by Salt n Pepa, and I was outrageously horrible!  We had plenty of laughs as I tried to get the moves that seemed so unnatural and awkward.  Sweating and laughing, I accepted my complete failure.

MightyMeCreative Performing Dance Central "Push It" from YouTube.

Yesterday, I decided to give it a try again.  I have been going through all of the songs and trying to get Five Gold Stars (perfect score) for each of the songs.  I failed and failed and failed, but steadily saw my score getting better gradually.  I was out of breath, tired and sweaty, but I was determined to get it down.  Within an hour and a half I had Five Gold Stars on the Easy, Medium, and Hard levels for the song.  HOORAY!  I jumped for joy and did a silent little cheer of joy in my apartment!  I did it!  I did it!  I did the freaking impossible!  (This is not me in the video - lol - it was posted by MightyMeCreative on YouTube)

The dog walkers and neighbors on the other side of my closed blinds didn't care.  The entire world didn't care that I had just accomplished this foolish little goal.  But I did, and that's all that mattered.

So today, I am reflecting upon that as I look at my goals.  Like so many others, I've always been good at creating goals, but it's always the problem of how to get there.  It takes time, patience, determination, and hard work.  It takes sweat, laughter, anger, disappointment, and delight.  It takes the honesty of knowing exactly where you're at, and where you want to go.  The distance between the two begins to get filled in with each attempt, mistake, or success.  The small progressions make the biggest difference.  A mastery of a this dance step, of that dance step, and then putting them together for the next one. 

Who knew that I would find advice on succeeding and build inner confidence through a video game?  We're all foolish if we have ever thought that video games do not teach!  (I also learned how to steal cars from Grand Theft Auto! LOL  Just kidding).

Monday Madness: I am techie.

First of all, Happy 4th of July to all of the United States of America resident readers!  Fireworks, parades, good drink, and laughter for all!  Happy Independence Day!  Cheers!

Currently, I have limited time as I am currently dying my hair - my roots were getting not so great....so as I look at the clock, I have about 10 minutes more for this entry.

Okay- go!

MONDAY MADNESS:  I am techie...

The reason for this is because it's been a kind of funny past 12 hours.  Late last night I couldn't sleep and found myself drawing and then trying to figure out all of Etsy's features for my site.  I have never been that incredibly great at computers.  We're friendly, but not close.
 
I saw this amazingly cool feature to put on blogs and websites that would feature current things I had for sale in OnePebbleStudio.  I though it looked brilliant and fun and so it was a must have in the middle of the wee morning hours.  So here I was copying and pasting this HTML stuff and then wondering where the heck to put it...

Should I paste it over here by this symbol..or wait, this "&c?;/*" looks like a good place...

I have NO idea how, but I ended up posting it correctly on my main website!  Hooray!  I smiled with triumph, and thought geesh, this is not a problem at all!  Presto!  On to my blog now - it can't be that much more difficult...


On another note, today my Mom was introduced to Twitter.  We were on the phone together while she was signing up, and seriously, my Mom is the funniest woman in the world!  First off, she joined due to the Casey Anthony Trial in order to get notice when the jurors reach the verdict, and that was her ONLY reason. hahaha!  Secondly, it was asking her to choose her first ten people/interests to follow.  She was satisfied with three (Vinnie Politan, Nancy Grace, and me...I think I'm lucky to have made her first round!).  Finally, her stubbornness wore out and she added Dr. Phil, Sylvia Browne, and Barefoot Contessa. For some reason I find her picks absolutely marvelous and hilarious!  They are so freaking perfect for her, that it kills me!

Then something FANTASTIC happened!  My MOTHER taught me how to send a message ON TWITTER!!  I am ridiculously proud and it was a great moment!  This is coming from a woman who just a few years ago, accidentally had her printer speaking out loud in German(and had no idea how she did it and how to shut it up).  It was a proud day!  So, thank you, Mom, you definitely made my morning an absolute blast!  Love ya!  :)



So if you're wondering where the fun Etsy gadget is, simply scroll down to the bottom of the page...yes, the very bottom and enjoy the laugh.

I got so mad that I didn't understand where it was or how to put it where I wanted it, so I ended up just happy that it even made an appearance.  And guess what- it's staying there...it was frustrating enough just to put it there! ha!  Looks like crap, but it works.

Monday Madness: SO MANY GOALS!

So many different goals and things to accomplish!  Makes me think of these haunting Radiohead lyrics...

"Fitter, happier, more productive,
comfortable,
not drinking too much,
regular exercise at the gym
(3 days a week),
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries,
at ease,
eating well
(no more microwave dinners and saturated fats),
a patient better driver,
a safer car
(baby smiling in back seat),
sleeping well
(no bad dreams),
no paranoia,
careful to all animals
(never washing spiders down the plughole),
keep in contact with old friends
(enjoy a drink now and then),
will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in the wall),
favors for favors,
fond but not in love,
charity standing orders,
on Sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants),
car wash
(also on Sundays),
no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate,
nothing so childish - at a better pace,
slower and more calculated,
no chance of escape,
now self-employed,
concerned (but powerless),
an empowered and informed member of society
(pragmatism not idealism),
will not cry in public,
less chance of illness,
tires that grip in the wet
(shot of baby strapped in back seat),
a good memory,
still cries at a good film,
still kisses with saliva,
no longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick,
that's driven into frozen winter shit
(the ability to laugh at weakness),
calm,
fitter,
healthier and more productive
a pig in a cage on antibiotics."

(Lyrics by Radiohead from album "OK Computer" and the amazing and fun animated video was created by Pablo Iranzo)
PS: Yes, I was a day late on Monday Madness...oops!  :)

Maya Angelou and Pablo Picasso: My Descent into Madness

MONDAY MADNESS!!!


My, my, my...the past 24 hours have been a journey of sorts.  I was recalling what Maya Angelou said in the television special of "MasterClass" on OWN.  It was an extremely inspiring hour of listening to her wise voice telling of her learning experiences in life.  One thing really stuck with me over all else, and it was the following, which I happened to repost on facebook last night...

I've absorbed this over the past month, and am beginning to feel that words are little energy entities that we send out into the universe.  Negative or Positive, they have power and consequence.  We are casting magic spells to the things and people around us by the words we use.  No matter our intent, by talking, we give those we talk about more power...along the same lines as "bad publicity is good publicity".  If people are talking about a particular thing/person, we are giving that thing/person more power.  We can see this in recent news - Lady Gaga supassing Oprah in terms of star power and influence. 

I started to think about this in terms of my art last night, and wouldn't you just know it?  I came up with a crazy idea, that yes, dwelt on the negative, but had a humorous spin.  To paint it, or not to paint it?  Sometimes ideas lose their meaning over time, and I think it's because someone else is meant to come up with that idea.  That idea was not originally for me as an end solution, and was just a part of my journey to get to the idea that IS for me.  Time and idea development will tell if I am meant to do this series that's in my head or not.  None the less,  do I really want to send more "negative" out into the world?

Then I think about some of my favorite works.  "Guernica" and "Charnel House" by Pablo Picasso instantly come to mind.  They show negative.  They show lack of humanity, chaos, and the overwhelming grotesqueness of what we can do to eachother in times of war.  However,  he did this to show that our actions have consequences, and to try to prevent further inhumane actions by those who viewed the work.  It was to show what had happened, and to send a kind of warning to the world.

Charnel House, 1945. Pablo Picasso

Guernica, 1937. Pablo Picasso

SO...because of his intentions, is it actually a positive energy that he sent out by creating these works?

I'll readily admit that anger often guides my way on what to paint next.  I use it as a guide, but I wouldn't describe my works as "angry".  I have made angry works before (during college), and then I never looked at them again.  They were more like therapy exercises than they were art I'm proud I created.  I have changed and gone away from that direct approach to angry issues - afterall, my intention was not to bring others down.

Does humor work to turn the negative into positive?  Make it appear foolish, or will that just make it more vicious?  Hmmmm....

I realize that this is not a "typical" Monday Madness entry - but I feel like my struggle to understand the complexities of positive and negative words and energies is making me go into the descent of "madness".  Mwahahahaha!! (a 'crazy' laugh in print for you).  I keep questioning and questioning!

So what are your thoughts on any or all of this?  I would really like to get some other opinions, and perspectives on this.  Thank you for reading, and I look forward to hearing what YOU think!

'Til we meet again - Cheers to the gray areas- they enlighten us!

Bringing It!

I guess I needed those couple of months to re-gain some energy and refill the well (as Julia Cameron would say).  I am now feeling revitalized about this blog and will go forward with a bit of stupid fun!  Hooray!


I am bringing back the feature of Monday Madness!  I miss it.  I don't know if anyone else does, but I do! LOL  So yes, expect a Monday Madness entry on tomorrow's blog!


Also, I my latest post included an old diary entry, which gave me an idea.  I have kept diaries since I was around 8 or 9 years old.  They have definitely stacked up over time and may give some funny material for all of us to laugh at.  I have decided that I will post an old journal entry once a week from now on!  So tah-dah!!  New blog feature we'll call "Dumb Diary Day"!


"Dumb Diary Day" will be every Wednesday - it's sometimes the day that we need a laugh the most.  It will be extremely embarrassing, but for those of you who know me, I will do anything for a laugh.  After some consideration, I'm thinking that I will conceal the names of others, so that I don't embarrass them.  I'll give them nicknames that will be used consistantly.  So cheers to "Dumb Diary Wednesdays"!! 


Happy Sunday to you and your loved ones!

Monday Madness- Office Space Style

Inventory, inventory, pricing, pricing...the must do list prior to the show.

This has been an extremely busy day of record keeping. I feel as though I should be in an office somewhere specializing in database entry...despite my attire. I confess that I am still in my morning clothes as I write this-I jumped into the inventory stuff upon grabbing for my morning coffee and have been working ever since...really not being lazy...am I? heeheehee

Ode to office jobs...which brings me to MONDAY MADNESS!

My favorite office job that I ever had was at a payroll place called Employee Solutions. At that time I was not the best worker, and my experience was extremely similar to the movie "Office Space" in my attitude of not doing much but looking like I did.

For example, one of my best friends and I would go into the supply closet to get paper...instead we were looking out of the supply room's window making up dialogue of the people walking in and out of the adjacent barbershop.

Fridays were days that I was extremely busy with filing...really it was a day devoted to tearing perferation off of documents while goofing around with said friend, and that was it. As for the filing part, at the end of the day I'd grab a folder and slam all of them in there and stick them in a drawer where they would fit. Tah-dah!

The kicker was that I put in my two weeks because my school schedule conflicted. About a week after my notice, I realized that it could work out afterall, and went into the manager's office to ask if I could take back my two weeks notice. She was my distant cousin and she still said no. hahahahaha! I guess she caught on. :)

Monday Madness Missed

Monday Madness has been missed around here. Must get back to it. Formally, I am only 18 minutes late of making this one a true and blue Monday Madness post...(It's supposedly Tuesday, but since I haven't slept yet- it's still Monday in my world).

Enough of my disclaimer, and onto MONDAY MADNESS!!!

Today, in light of the premiere of The Amazing Race last night, I will write about...well, The Amazing Race. I will pretend to interview the woman who exploded a melon on her head (accidently) via Chris Farley interviewing style.



Me: Do you remember last night's show?

Melon Woman: Yes.

Me: Remember when you were flinging the melons to hit that knight costume?

Melon Woman: Yeah, Krys, I was there.

Me: Remember when you accidently exploded the melon into your head?

Melon Women: Yes.

Me: Did that hurt?

Melon Woman: Yes, yes it did.

Me: I thought so. Alright...remember when....

Light + The Formula for U2 Lyrics

I delivered my work to "The Tribute Gallery" on this past Saturday and all is well. I forwarded the price for the piece, and now it's all about figuring out what to wear for the opening. :)

I have realized that I will need to buy a better light for the room I paint in- the natural light here in Portland is not going to be as great as it is now forever. The rainy season is going to be coming up before too long, and I would really love to work past daylight hours too! I was researching tons of information about the best bulbs for artists and reading color. So far, the best seems to be a Compact Flourescent Bulb that gives off around 5000 K and is at least 75 Watts...whatever that all means. :) I'm not even going to try to tell you about the science behind it, because I can't. Like Samm and his vitamin pills.

About Lighting...It is now time for MONDAY MADNESS!!!

So I was thinking about Monday Madness, and what I would write about light. I started thinking about posting "Ultraviolet" by U2, or maybe "Even Better Than the Real Thing". THEN I CRACKED THE CODE!!! It seems that a lot of the songs that I love by U2 seem to have lyrics that deal with light, especially on 'Achtung Baby'. It's crazy! Their lyrics often give off the imagery of light or lack there of, for instance:

"to drag the past out into the light"
"when it's one need in the night" - from "One"

"last time we met it was a low-lit room" - from "Until the End of the Word"

"It's no secret that the stars are falling from the sky,
It's no secret that our world is in darkness tonight,
They say the sun is sometimes eclipsed by the moon" - from "The Fly"

"Lift my days, light up my nights"
"Let her pale light in to fill up your room" - from "Mysterious Ways"

"Sunrise like a nosebleed" - from "Tryin' To Throw Your Arms Around the World"

"The day is as dark as the night it long"
"Light my way"
"Your love was a light bulb hanging over my bed" - "Ultraviolet"

"Blow out the candle" - from "Love is Blindness"

And I know there are more besides just on this album! Afterall look at the song "Lemon". Right off the bat- "See through in the sunlight, she wore lemon, but never in the daylight". This is crazy!!!

Okay, so am now appearing to have gone completely mad and obsessed. I am making myself stop now- must...walk...away...from...the...keys... :)

MONDAY MADNESS!!!

Tonight I was involved in a facebook drama that was unnecessary and ridiculous. Drama on facebook- is it a surprise? Anyway, typed communication seems to really be a thorn in my side sometimes. People read things the wrong way. I don't understand how friends read text and suddenly assume the worst. This has happened twice in the past two weeks to me. Is it the heat that is making people read things so grouchily? Or is it the fact that I assume people know me and my personality better than they really do? Maybe it's a combo deal? Anyway, this whole typing topic brings me to


MONDAY MADNESS!

Today I will tell you a story concerning typing- I know, it doesn't really sound that entertaining, but it is one of my top 10 embarrassing moments.

I was taking a computer typing class in high school. The teacher was an extreme type A personality and everything that we did had to be exact or else an insane amount of points were taken off. I was intimidated by this, and it set the stage for the first assignment we were given. The teacher told us to type out this paper about Julia Roberts in the exact format as what was on the paper before us. Perfection was necessary, or you would need to start all over again. How easy is that? So I took my time and was proud of my work when I handed it in at his desk. I was confident that everything was correct. A few minutes later I hear the teacher demand furiously, "Who turned in a paper with 'Mr. Malone' on it? Who wrote my name instead of their own?" The class roared with laughter, with a few saying, "What an idiot!" as Mr. Malone stared out of his heavy brows into the sea of laughing faces.

i did. I raised my hand. I was so red that I was sweating. Huge smile. Nervous giggles... one of the best worst first impressions I ever made I think. Still makes me laugh out loud though, so perhaps it was worth it.

New feature! Monday Madness!

I just read how blogs can be attractive to viewers by getting a bit sidetracked with what things remind you of...and with only 9 wonderful followers of this blog at this point, I have a lot to learn. (To my followers an obvious big thank you is headed in your direction!!!) So I have decided that every Monday I will be... wait for it...wait for it...


MONDAY MADNESS!!!

I will look at what's going on around me- objects, events, everyday stuff- and tell you something that it reminds me of. Maybe it will be a story of the ages, maybe it will be an embarrassing moment, maybe it will be a Captain-Insane-O situation. The possibilities are endless, and you, by dear readers, will be astounded with your overwhelming sense of anticipation of what will be next!

In fact, this reminds me of the anticipation I feel for my grandmother's Butterscotch Pie at family functions- this luxurious cream pie is a family favorite and sure to please at your next get together whether it be gamers convention, a car expo, or a retirement home.

Grandma Kain's Butterscotch Pie Recipe

1 stick of melted butter
1 c. Brown sugar
1/3 c. flour or 3 T cornstarch
1 can Milnot and add milk until you have 2cups total of milnot/milk mixture
3 egg yolks
pinch of salt
2 capfulls of vanilla

Use a cast iron skillet if possible- have no idea why, but my family says it's better when you do this. Anyway, melt butter in the skillet over medium heat and add in brown sugar. Allow the sugar to melt a bit while mixing it around. Then add the flour. Cook this and stir like crazy (if you don't it will taste like crap). Add in the milnot/milk mixture gradually while stirring- definitely do not want it lumpy. Add in yolks, salt, vanilla and cook until thick and smooth. You can put this pudding in an already done pie crust, top it with meringue, or just grab a spoon and go for the diabetic coma. Good Times, good times. (And I wonder how I've always been at least slightly overweight all of my life...hmmmm....)

And there you have it! Let the MONDAY MADNESS begin!!!