Work and Balance - Finding Satisfaction

Tomorrow.


Tomorrow I will be painting without having to go to my part-time job, and I've been looking forward to it all week!  Don't get me wrong, I actually really enjoy and am thankful for my part-time job.  The people have been great, I've been learning a lot so my brain has been happy, and I have yet another reason to change out of my yoga/sweatpants.  That's all very good and well.


However...


I love the days when I can paint as long as I want without having to look at the clock, and absolutely surrendering to the now.  What a gift!


When I was unemployed, I couldn't quite enjoy creating as much as one would imagine.  Instead, I was constantly stressed, somewhat depressed, and existing with a touch of anxiety at all times no matter what I was doing.  Today, I'm grateful for what I have gained due to finding work again.  Yes, I am losing time to create, but it's making the time that I am able to create so much better and more productive.  Someday, I hope that I can make art my full time occupation that pays the bills, but the meantime isn't so bad.  I am happy to say that for now, I am satisfied in a stable, balanced manner, and I haven't been able to say that for a long time.


The last few years have been a stuggle for so many of us.  I hope that you are finding out what you need and recieving the change to recieve it.  Love to all of you!

The Artist's Way: Chapter Ten and Self-Protection

Self- protection was the topic of this week in more than just the chapter.  Synchronicity, ain't it a bitch?  The chapter told and warned of pitfalls that are a detriment to the creative spirit- typical blocks, workaholism, creative droughts, fame and competition.  It guided through how to recognize them and work through them so that we may protect our creative flow.  I learned a lesson in self-protection this week that came externally involving being let go, fired, removed, rejected, relieved of my first book illustration gig that I have been working on and extremely excited about.

I could go into details.  I could use profanity to describe my shock and frustrations.  I could go into the psychology behind his actions of dropping this bomb on me, but I am not going to do that.  That would be an unprofessional foolish mistake and a waste of time and energy.  However, I will tell you about what I have learned as a result of distancing myself from it for a few days, and it definitely has to do with self-protection.

I failed to protect my time for my own fine art. I am referring to the two series I had started of drawings based on psychology tests and paintings dealing with miracles.  They sat there shoved off into the corners of my work area for one and a half months.  I had this guilt that if I worked on them that I would be wasting time that could be spent working on illustrations.  On the other hand, I felt guilty that I had not worked on them at all.  Damned if you do, damned if you don't.  I did manage to finish a ceramic disected frog that I had for a collaborative project with Amanda Knauer, and believe me- I did feel some guilt for that as I was not working on the illustrations for the duration of what added up to be about a week when put together.  I would argue with myself that I should not feel guilty, but despite that, the guilt remained until I could go back to experimenting and layering the washes for the illustrations.

As I look back, all I can say is "What the F was I thinking?"  How could I let my time be manipulated like that with all of those guilty feelings?  It was adding up to be some heavy baggage in some ways.  Ultimately, I do not mourn the loss of the opportunity, but instead the loss of time for my own stories of paint.  Next time I will keep this in mind if there is a next time.  I'm not sure that I'm that interested in going through that again.  The continual feeling of having to prove your own abilities to someone who doesn't seem to trust you anyway (there were subtle signs though I tried to ignore them in order to stay postive for the project's protection), paired up with the guilty feeling of ignoring your own creative needs is not exactly the optimal life choice for anyone. 

So now I have moved back to my own work and I am feeling great in the freedom I feel once again.  I learned a lot about my own weaknesses of self-protection throughout this experience, and I am hoping that I will not have to relearn that lesson again.  So, look for new works to be posted soon on this blog and on my website at http://www.krystalbooth.com/. 

As far as the chapter went, I believe that I will be revisiting this one often.  I especially loved the sections about fame and competition as I felt as if I needed a bit of talking to about these topics.  I also feel that if you only read one chapter out of the entire book that I have read so far, it is Chapter Ten.  It really touched upon a lot of valuable things for any creative soul to think about. 

Onward to Chapter Eleven!

Creating Your Life

Time for creating.  Time for exercising.  Time for bathing.  Time for eating.  Time for fun.  Time for loved ones.  Time for looking for opportunities.  Time for catching up.  Time for RESOLUTIONS.

...and while writing this I just think I felt a little earthquake...a 3 second tremor.  Maybe the Creator's way of pointing out how this Earth continues to change and shift, and we need to do the same.

It's the week between Christmas and New Year's, my favorite week of the year, and it's filled with reflection and new plans for the upcoming year.  It's filled with assessment and hope.  Creating grand plans for a metamorphosis. 

In order to do this, I need a strategy of time- the ultimate schedule that will help me accomplish these new goals...without a strategy, I will look similar to the picture above.  I'm trying desperately to get organized and create a schedule that truly reflects the way I want to live.  This is not an easy task for me, because I am quite moody about time- I resist wearing a watch because I hate to see the minutes of my life flying away without meaning.  Yet, maybe I need to be reminded about time in order to get to where I want to be.  I definitely have plenty to accomplish this year.  My resolutions have yet to be nailed down, but here's a sample of what I'm looking at for 2011, which may be similar to yours:

1. Spend at least 30 hours in the studio creating (writing, painting, drawing) per week (on top of work week of job which I will find!).
2. Lose 25 pounds...not exactly pleased to see this burden return to my life...have gained some weight recently that I'm not proud of.  Need to think health, health, health!
3. Approach galleries in formal manner of appointments- I have never done this, and this is the year!
4. Show my work as often as possible!  Apply to more shows than I did in 2010, which was a great start!
5. Improve the quality of all of my relationships by being in the moment, remembering birthdays, and connecting more often through writing letters, or phone calls (not just quick emails and facebooking).
6. Put myself in more uncomfortable situations to get over fears, and get out of my comfort zone of living. "The Amazing Race" would definitely help me in this manner (would be a major catalyst for this goal), so Samm and I will definitely apply this year!  Whether or not we get a spot on the show, I know that I could accomplish this goal on a local scale as well...the show would just be a fast forward on accomplishing this.

I have put most of these on a Vision Board- it's still in the works-  I'll post a picture of it when I'm done.

The truth is I hope that 2011 will completely be the most meaningful year of all of our lives!  Cheers to filling it with laughter, love, hope, renewal, and living life in a way that reflects who we are and not what others want us to be!  Happy Holidays, and Happy 2011!  What are you planning?

Life Happens.

Life happens...cliche, but completely accurate at times. I'm not meaning this in a negative way at all. It's just that while I fantasize about spending all kinds of time creating art, the reality is that I have been extremely busy for the past two months with other endeavors that have taken a front seat. If I didn't prioritize in that way, I would have been reprimanded at my job, lost it, become homeless, and I would certainly not have internet access to write to all of you nice people out there. Time is luckily freeing up again now.

Not too mention, I am still stuck on that painting/collage that I posted about having trouble figuring out. I am still figuring it out...perhaps I need to move on a bit and work on another project to get going again. It's time to pick up the steam, and I'm looking forward to it!