My Cup Runneth Over?...

Chapter Six of The Artist's Way = Boring, Boring, Boring

I could be a mature and intelligent young woman about this by writing a description about the chapter.  I'm not going to do that.  It would just bore you too.  I'll simply sum it up as a chapter about abundance, and while I need to rethink some of my beliefs about money and abundance, it was not an earth shattering chapter for me.  It may be for others, but not for this gal.

I will say that the best part of my week six was my Artist Date.  I went to Ava's in Beaverton and enjoyed a latte, a blueberry scone, and writing my morning pages there.  I loved taking in the environment and people around me - one older man in particular- a gentleman who seemed to be mentally blocked and kept getting up from his laptop/files/books (it appeared that he may be in the process of moving in) and sitting in different seats.  It was interesting and I could identify with him.  I've been there.  Most of us have been there.  Though I was never as bold as he was by sitting in different seats in a public place...I save that, and walking around in the middle of a process, for my apartment.  I admired his ability to not be discouraged by the possibility of being judged by others in the cafe. 

Anyway, that is what I recieved from this week.  Not much, but it was alright.  I was severely busy this past week with a graduate application and to be honest, I didn't have much time for a ground-breaking chapter.  It was perfect timing really...perhaps synchronicity? LOL

Week 5: Recovering A Sense of Possibility

The Artist's Way, Week Five was about recovering possibility and virtue traps.  It proved to be an enlightening chapter and called upon memories of my sociology classes in college due to the labels and roles we fulfill in our lives.  Often we feel bound by what we are to other people- mothers, fathers, bosses, teachers, daughters, sons, coworkers, mentors, friends, lovers, strangers, artists, politicians, students, writers, bodyguards, gas station attendants - and feel the need to play the role and fulfill the responsibilities of such labels.  The social constructs ignore who we really are- our authentic selves- and attempt to place us within several neatly formed boxes all at once (this reminds me of wooden nesting dolls).  It can alter behavior for the better or for the worse, and can ultimately deny a person of their authentic identity.  Have you ever thought about how many labels, or roles, could be used to define you according to social constructs?...besides the naughty slang terms during road rage.

We can feel obligated, and responsible to uphold others' expectations and end up muting our authentic voice within that is there to guide us.  This can lead people to lose themselves and I believe is responsible for the phenomenon known as "mid-life crisis".

A specific sentence in the book really seemed to awaken me, as Julia Cameron wrote, "The true self is a disturbing character, healthy and occasionally anarchistic, who know how to play, how to say no to others, and 'yes' to itself."  Wow. 

Sometimes I let too much stress pile up due to others desires and let my own slide.  I have been trained to please and I believe that it is fair to say that most of our population has (I'm not blaming parents, as it is a part of our social fabric- found within reforcements in schools and all avenues of social institutions and engagements).  It is fine to please others- I'm not calling for an anarchy or an upraising of selfishness, but I am saying that it is a major problem when we aim to please others so much that we forget about our own needs.  We toss them aside and become zombies-shells of our former selves.  We would rather hold onto our virtues and uphold our honor, than be who we were meant to be and do the things we were meant to do.

It's definitely worth some thought and an awakening chapter!

Week Four: Reading Deprivation

Reading Deprivation. I didn’t understand how this could be a good thing.  Chapter Four/Week Four of The Artist's Way calls for absolutely no reading of any sort.  To put it politely, I was pissed. How could I not read anything for a week? How could I be expected not to job seek, research or read articles of interest? Not to get on social media, and not read birthday wishes from friends? Yes, lucky me- my birthday just happened to fall within the fourth week of this program. Also, of course I was at a crucial point in my beloved novel written by Iris Murdoch- The Sea, The Sea.



I could have decided to forfeit Julia Cameron’s request, but decided that I wanted to know if it was complete shit or not. So I bit the bullet…angrily!


The first day I was angry and a bit frustrated and between private pouting sessions I managed to get quite a bit of work accomplished. I went to bed early due to my frustration in not being able to read, which is my nightly routine before getting some shut eye.

After that first day, things were a bit easier. I realized what the point was- it was finding time! I had so much time to accomplish goals and get projects finished! I was focused and consciously used my time. I didn’t find myself sitting in front of the computer for hours with my morning wasted away (as some mornings can do…). Instead, I got to work on tasks. Projects that I thought would take several days to complete took no more than two each. It felt wonderful to get things accomplished.


HOWEVER, I did allow myself to check my email exactly once a day in order to know if I had any responses to jobs I had applied for. It was then that I realized that my fb was filled with “Happy Birthday!” messages as I now had about 150 messages in my inbox. I did not allow myself to read them until I simply couldn’t take it anymore, which happened to two days later (on Friday). I was truly touched by the messages that were posted. I went through them and wrote my “Thank you” messages.

SO WHAT WAS THE VERDICT? I gained a new perspective on time and focus. I realized how much time I can waste away by just distracting myself with words of all kinds- articles, headlines, novels, research, and comments that have nothing to do with me. But seriously, why didn’t she just write about that and warn her readers to be informed and in control of distractions? That’s what it is about! She is NOT frowning upon reading, but is frowning upon DISTRACTIONS. I realized that I could not take it anymore by Friday and had to play catch up. I had become stressed out due to letting stuff go.

In short, IT WAS NOT WORTH IT! Just note your distractions and work to fix them in order to become more focused. There, I may have saved you a week of frustration and ridiculousness with my findings, not to mention saving you the stress of playing catch-up at the end of the week.  What was your experience of Week Four?  Was it as aggravating to you?

The Artist's Way- End of Week Three- Synchronicity

Julia, Julia, Julia!  The questions you posed this week in the tasks were unexpectedly tough! 

The list 5s are stumpers!- list 5 people you admire, now list 5 people you secretly admire, then list 5 people who you wish to meet but are dead, and list 5 people who are already dead who you would spend part of your eternity with...all of these of course followed by answering why and/or what traits that make them be a part of the list. 

At first glance, it looked so easy to do these, but to tell you the truth I'm still working on my five people that I secretly admire.  Limiting choices down to only five is crazy when you think about these questions in terms of  everyone who is alive or has ever lived on this planet.  I became so extremely picky about my choices, but it was fun at the same time- that puzzle part of my brain was definitely activated for this.  Even if you aren't doing The Artist's Way, I completely dare you to do this some time- I'm wondering if you will find it as difficult as I did!


Morning Pages

I'm not minding them as much now.  It is not requiring me any discipline to get through them this week as much as it did during the first two weeks.  Instead...dare I say it?...it's actually been a pleasure to do them.  It just feels like it helps me organize my thoughts and gain some momentum going into my day.  If anyone else has been doing morning pages, or writing in the morning, I'd love to hear how you feel about it.  I'm currently wondering how often people stick with writing three pages as soon as they awake way past the length of this twelve-week venture.  I wonder if I'll be sick of them by the end of this.


Synchronicity

I did notice a few instances of synchronicity this week, but I'm never that far away from it- it's a very big part of my faith (which in all honesty I don't talk about that much, but am seriously noticing just how much I have been recently...so in short I look like a liar when I say that I don't. ha!LOL).  I believe that we get exactly what we need at the proper proportion at the perfect time.  There are no coincidences.  People, places, and experiences all play an intricate role in our lives that constantly help us to progress on our journey- God/Allah/The Higher Power/Universal Energy sends messages to us through some pretty creative avenues.  My favorite experiences of this have been through a mysterious computer message while I was at work printing out payroll, and several instances of the radio.  We need to keep our eyes open for the answers and inspirations that we are seeking, which goes along with this fabulous clip of Grace Coddington from "The September Issue" movie that I watched last night- How's that for some synchronicity?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zo1vnibK3vA

If you have not watched this movie before, I highly suggest it to anyone interested in seeing behind the scenes of magazine publishing, fashion or Vogue to be exact.  Samm and I have fallen in love with Grace Coddington after seeing this documentary.  She is brilliant, and her work is a feast for the eyes that I want to overindulge in...just like ice cream with Birthday cake!

Albert Einstein on the Brain

Since my last post, I have been unable to get Albert Einstein out of my head.  My curiosities are peaked about what he was really like, and I can only gain clues from pictures, quotes, and his work.  I have always been intrigued with the man- afterall, I did dress up as him for Halloween 2009 due to my admiration.  Yet recently The Artist's Way has only encouraged my fascination, as one of the tasks this week has been to list five people I admire and why.

I included Mr. Einstein in this list.  He used his brilliance to the fullest, had clarity of thought, and balanced work and play.  I stopped writing after I listed these and questioned if he indeed had balance.  What would lead me to say that?  I have no idea what his daily life was composed of, but yet this idea of the way he lived had entered into my perception.

Okay, it's obvious that the man worked.  He had so many ideas that it's truly difficult to believe that one person came up with all of these theories in a single lifetime, and yet he did.

So what makes me believe that he found time for play?  The photos for one thing- the photo of him sticking his tongue out, pictures of him laughing, riding a bike, and walking with his wife.  And how about the quotes?  They reveal a charm about him and a sense of wit.  He stressed the importance of creativity and intuition.

I'm betting that he did indeed lead a balanced life...a fulfilling life.  I really wish that I could have some sort of insight into how he did this.  I'm seriously wishing that he had written a book about this- Creating a Balanced Life by Albert Einstein- I believe that now more than ever it would be on the best sellers list.

Juried Show for Publication

Hooray, hoorah -(a sigh of relief)- I just finished submitting a work to a juried show that involves publication for those who make it. I'm not keeping my hopes up as I have submitted work to them before and recieved a rejection letter, BUT as the saying goes-

"If at first you don't succeed, try and try again!"

Oddly, this saying is encouraging insanity...

As Albert Einstein once said, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

The Most Brilliant Mind with the Most Compassionate Eyes.

Vision Board

This is the Vision Board I created as a kick off to 2011 along with a detail of my favorite clipping on it.  I'm going to hang it in a place that I will see daily as a reminder to stay focused and motivated.  I left some blank areas to place new goals later on.

As cheesy as this may be, it really does help me.  The only reason why I made a new one is because a lot of the old one came true- solidifying the fact that they help me!  Have you ever made one and if so, did it work for you? 

Crazymakers, Rules of the Road, and Forgetting the Outside Observer

Week Two of "The Artist's Way" had a lot to do with time, how we choose to spend it, and "crazymakers" that disregard our plans.  Well, after some investigating, I believe that I am my own crazymaker.  For instance, see the photo above?  Well, my best friend and I could not stop doing "Face in Hole" photos for hours upon end this week while we Skyped.  (If you would like to do this, go to http://www.faceinhole.com/, but they are highly addictive).  We laughed until we sweated- yes, sweated- I do believe I've found my best workout to date.  Anyway, while this was creative, it wasn't exactly being proactive about my own work and I found that sometimes I'm a bit too self-indulgent in the "Play" aspect of my life.  In my defense, the week between Christmas and New Year's is a bit like that anyway- it lends itself to inactivity and planning.  The work and responsiblity of living up to our goals begins after New Year's...needless to say I lived it up while I could and completely indulged!

The Rules of the Road listed on page 55 were fabulous, because it kind of acts as a disclaimer.  It appeals to the part of me that doesn't want to have to take responsiblity for my own blunders.  Terrible, I know, but I'm being extremely honest.  It's as if the small angel on my one shoulder and the little devil on my other shoulder are in agreement about these rules.

Julia's story about the cat who lived in the vivid blue house during her walks- "We began to have little visits, that cat and I, and then long talks of all we had in common, lonely women."- really sticks out in my head as I wonder what the people inside the blue house thought of this stranger spending so much time with their cat.  I wonder if they thought that Julia was senile, or was interested in stealing their furry family member.

This story illustrates blocking out the fear of being judged for what we do, and I experienced this this week...

I was taking a morning walk.  The air was crisp, cold and invigorating.  I was admiring the way everything was glistening due to the recent rain and then wondered if the small droplets on the bushes beside the sidewalk were frozen.  I stopped, and reached out to find out.  To my delight, they were frozen, and I pulled one off of a small branch.  I held it up to the light.  It was clear and beautiful as the light made it twinkle.

I ate it.

(In my defense, I was thinking back to when I was a kid and icicles were all the rage.)

I glanced across the street to see two men watching me.  EMBARRASSING.  For all they knew I was eating a twig, or a bug, or just senile.  I looked down to cover up my embarrassed smile and quickened my pace to get home.  I obviously would look even crazier at that point if I shouted across the road about what I was doing...so much for providing context.

Lesson learned:  Forgetting about the outside observers is necessary to create, but it can be extremely embarrassing once you find you are being watched.  The trick is to not let the fear of being judged hinder our ability to create, or effect what we create.  Which leads us back to the "Rules of the Road" on page 55.

Did anyone else have an embarrassing moment of the week?  Or what did you get from Chapter Two if you're reading "The Artist's Way"?