Defiant Child and Fear

I've been trying to get further with a painting and it is being a jerk.  I keep staring at it and it seems like a defiant child with folded arms staring back at me with angry eyes.

"What do you want?"  I would like to ask it...it's not said anything back yet...

I'm trying to tune in and listen.  I think that perhaps I'm too scared of what it will answer back for fear that my skills are not up to what it is demanding.  I will try.  After all, I'm not trying to save the world here - or the "cheerleader" for that matter.  I'm just painting a painting.  It's as simple as that.

It's amazing how everytime I create a painting I'm half scared of it, but the other half is just too curious to be bullied by that.  I know that I'm not alone in feeling this way.  It is a struggle sometimes, but why?  Fear?  Judgement?  Displaying weaknesses?  Believing a lie that it will never be good enough?

All of these are illusions...for the most part.  Our terrorizing daydreams of being judged are usually far worse than how reality plays out.  For instance, I've never shown up at an opening without pants while viewers take my works down and light them on fire.  The worst that has ever happened to me was an elderly woman came into the building to yell at me about how awful the work was.  I was actually honored that it made her that angry- better than being ignored, right?  CHEERS!

I'm beginning to realize that it's scarier to be an artist that doesn't create than it is to face the fears of creating (too bad it has taken 33 years for this to begin to sink in).  I don't want regrets in my deathbed like Leonardo Da Vinci did (he wished that he had completed more paintings).  With that said, I need to get to work - "defiant child" or not!

Monday Madness: Dancing the Goals Away

MONDAY MADNESS!

I wrote my goals for the day with a cup of coffee a few minutes ago...revise a painting, revise a drawing, finish another painting (or come close), plan out my next bubble portrait, dishes, laundry, Dance Central...

I started to think about the big goals, and how I have failed to attain them over and over again.  How do I approach these goals with a fresh start, or in other words, without the baggage of previous fails?  How do I mute that negative talk inside my head- that skepticism that I will ever achieve them?  I glanced down at my daily goals...Dance Central...

Last week a new friend, who I feel as though I have known for much longer than I have, came over to play Dance Central with me.  I tried out a new song - the routine for "Push It" by Salt n Pepa, and I was outrageously horrible!  We had plenty of laughs as I tried to get the moves that seemed so unnatural and awkward.  Sweating and laughing, I accepted my complete failure.

MightyMeCreative Performing Dance Central "Push It" from YouTube.

Yesterday, I decided to give it a try again.  I have been going through all of the songs and trying to get Five Gold Stars (perfect score) for each of the songs.  I failed and failed and failed, but steadily saw my score getting better gradually.  I was out of breath, tired and sweaty, but I was determined to get it down.  Within an hour and a half I had Five Gold Stars on the Easy, Medium, and Hard levels for the song.  HOORAY!  I jumped for joy and did a silent little cheer of joy in my apartment!  I did it!  I did it!  I did the freaking impossible!  (This is not me in the video - lol - it was posted by MightyMeCreative on YouTube)

The dog walkers and neighbors on the other side of my closed blinds didn't care.  The entire world didn't care that I had just accomplished this foolish little goal.  But I did, and that's all that mattered.

So today, I am reflecting upon that as I look at my goals.  Like so many others, I've always been good at creating goals, but it's always the problem of how to get there.  It takes time, patience, determination, and hard work.  It takes sweat, laughter, anger, disappointment, and delight.  It takes the honesty of knowing exactly where you're at, and where you want to go.  The distance between the two begins to get filled in with each attempt, mistake, or success.  The small progressions make the biggest difference.  A mastery of a this dance step, of that dance step, and then putting them together for the next one. 

Who knew that I would find advice on succeeding and build inner confidence through a video game?  We're all foolish if we have ever thought that video games do not teach!  (I also learned how to steal cars from Grand Theft Auto! LOL  Just kidding).

Dumb Diary Wednesday: Double Day!

It is with regret that I didn't do Dumb Diary Wednesday last week, so today, I'm doing a three for one entry of them.  Just so you understand if you've just started reading them, I have changed the names to protect others, and I've tried to keep the entries in order.  I do skip some entries, because let's face it, some are just boring crap....  So here we go...

"2-28-1990

Wed.

Dear Diary,

12 years old

no boyfriend.  Oh well

Mr. Right will come

someday...I hope.

Love,

Krystal

Really?  I was 12 and already feeling defeated about not having a boyfriend?!  hahaha!  SAD...

5-31-90

Thurs.

Dear Diary,

Hi!  Today is 2nd

to last day in school.

Janis asked

Ben Lee to go with

me and he said probably.

Isn't that great!?!

Sofia, Jill, Starla,

Maria, and Lesley

made cheerleading.  I'm

really glad Sofia made it but

I'm scared if she turns

and doesn't want

to be my BFF anymore.

Well I'm

gett'n'

a little tired now.

It's 9:19.  I have

to go to bed!

Good Night!

Love,

Krystal Booth :)

6-8-90

Dear Diary,

We just turned

to go South from

Indianapolis.  I can't

wait to get to

Uncle D's house!

Ben almost

said yes to go with

me on the last day

of school but since

he lives in H

we wouldn't see eachother

that much.

Krystal"

Yes, I'm sure the fact that he lived a whole 5 miles away was a major factor.  LOL

Free Limited Edition Print for the First 20 Orders!

Have I turned into a salesman?  LOL  So the Etsy shop is up and running, and though it is easy to set up, it takes some time to get used to all of the features.  Now that I'm getting comfortable with it, I am ready for business!

I am running a promotion right now for the First 20 orders to receive a free gift of a signed Limited Edition Print of their choosing.  It is for the Grand Opening of my little Etsy shop and to show my appreciation for getting the ball rolling!

When you order, just note/message/convo me with which print you chose, and I'll be happy to send it along with your order!

Here is the link:  www.etsy.com/shop/OnePebbleStudio

Monday Madness: I am techie.

First of all, Happy 4th of July to all of the United States of America resident readers!  Fireworks, parades, good drink, and laughter for all!  Happy Independence Day!  Cheers!

Currently, I have limited time as I am currently dying my hair - my roots were getting not so great....so as I look at the clock, I have about 10 minutes more for this entry.

Okay- go!

MONDAY MADNESS:  I am techie...

The reason for this is because it's been a kind of funny past 12 hours.  Late last night I couldn't sleep and found myself drawing and then trying to figure out all of Etsy's features for my site.  I have never been that incredibly great at computers.  We're friendly, but not close.
 
I saw this amazingly cool feature to put on blogs and websites that would feature current things I had for sale in OnePebbleStudio.  I though it looked brilliant and fun and so it was a must have in the middle of the wee morning hours.  So here I was copying and pasting this HTML stuff and then wondering where the heck to put it...

Should I paste it over here by this symbol..or wait, this "&c?;/*" looks like a good place...

I have NO idea how, but I ended up posting it correctly on my main website!  Hooray!  I smiled with triumph, and thought geesh, this is not a problem at all!  Presto!  On to my blog now - it can't be that much more difficult...


On another note, today my Mom was introduced to Twitter.  We were on the phone together while she was signing up, and seriously, my Mom is the funniest woman in the world!  First off, she joined due to the Casey Anthony Trial in order to get notice when the jurors reach the verdict, and that was her ONLY reason. hahaha!  Secondly, it was asking her to choose her first ten people/interests to follow.  She was satisfied with three (Vinnie Politan, Nancy Grace, and me...I think I'm lucky to have made her first round!).  Finally, her stubbornness wore out and she added Dr. Phil, Sylvia Browne, and Barefoot Contessa. For some reason I find her picks absolutely marvelous and hilarious!  They are so freaking perfect for her, that it kills me!

Then something FANTASTIC happened!  My MOTHER taught me how to send a message ON TWITTER!!  I am ridiculously proud and it was a great moment!  This is coming from a woman who just a few years ago, accidentally had her printer speaking out loud in German(and had no idea how she did it and how to shut it up).  It was a proud day!  So, thank you, Mom, you definitely made my morning an absolute blast!  Love ya!  :)



So if you're wondering where the fun Etsy gadget is, simply scroll down to the bottom of the page...yes, the very bottom and enjoy the laugh.

I got so mad that I didn't understand where it was or how to put it where I wanted it, so I ended up just happy that it even made an appearance.  And guess what- it's staying there...it was frustrating enough just to put it there! ha!  Looks like crap, but it works.

OnePebbleStudio is Open! (My shop on Etsy)

Hello, Friends! 

I've kind of been a bit busy lately, but it has been for a good reason -
My shop on Etsy is now up and running!
Check it out at:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/OnePebbleStudio

In addition to a few works you may have already seen on my main website,
there are SEVERAL NEW works that are a bit more of the altered art/crafty side that will be featured on Etsy.  I will be selling the originals as well as Signed Limited Edition Prints.

In the coming days, I will be posting more of the recent works on the site for OnePebbleStudio, so make sure to check back often.  I will be including a permanent link to the Etsy site on the sidebar of this blog for your future convenience.

Thanks for letting me share my art with you!